one of my ways home cak ok little ones in the cosmos ,
i am ever so ----------me he holds me with a smile he holds me by his very own way
he drives me crazy there was a time when no one could make me happy by seeing them { he does } i do not know why , i was never the type of person that well how should i say have a masive crush except gary spears 1986-1987 i was 13 years old and well music was awsome he was yeah i liked him a lot but i was 13 and stupid , i do not know what this is im 36 and im not stupid {some would have you belive i am } he is in my thoughts too much right now i am bloging about him why what does this do for me in a way i was hoping it would purge my thoughts of what i am feeling writing has been my only tool for this mom got in her way i would write ,i am feeling sad write , this is who i am but with him no , and i always wonder who does he see , in one girl view he is scared of me because i like to talk to him , in other i do not think he even sees you , and me the loud mouth find it hard to say hey and such and such , so what do i do --nothing i dont know what to do if i see him look my way i tend to rational it off by saying oh there was a girl in my lane or if he talks to me oh he is being nice to the girl with the big giant crush , for him it might be normal to have a girl with a crush on him but for me it is not , i do not get this way in some ways i turn off my emotion and just be but for him i am a mess weird how someone affect us and others do not .
ok that is enough i have bored my demented underground with this and it was not fair soooooo
musing of a carrie kind
we are watching the show of the universe as we revlove around the sun again and again and for a brief moment we see what we need to see
my lover will watch as i walk away and hoping for my return in the same breath
death always watches his roses and they smell as sweet as the new day
we are only playing the game not watching it , not willing it ,
i want some pie ------ not a musing just hungrey ------ lost 41 lbs running around not eating will do this for a person
goodnight wonderwall get some sleep , goodnight underworld i will blog a poem on wes for you as i always say old or new who knows ---but the -------------------------- you finish it ;]
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