i am here

; >  a little strange i googled it --cak

i have to let it go
everything is everything
my feet are red and burring from the desert road , which i have walked
it seems, it never has the same face
always in flux for a new taste , anew something, and still the thirst comes no water to be found
a man of god, wearing black with a shining cross around his neck , on the road of which i walk
strikes up a conversation , of god no less
preaching to me that salvation is at hand
my own mind is far enough away on another journy to pay any attention to this peddler of god
we walk awhile, silence between us, until dusk hits
he falls to his knees places his cross in his mouth, the taste of bitter and salt, eyes rollback
i am unaware if death is at his door or a vision is at hand, i leave him behind
the wind picks up like a roar of nothing i knew it's so fierce and the cold is overwhelming
the howl sounds like many voices that are trying to find a place, but no such delivery comes
the thunderous hoofs of a thousand wild horses come charging, they need no rider , and they are free
i walk , no signs pointing the way , it seems i am always lost until i am not. i am here and here is where i am , it's so easy and yet so hard
in the field where wild yellow flowers grow, a man paying tribute to a fire , offers me a place at his feast, no words are spoken, but it is not a silent either, it just was
so many stars, there was a peace, the universe opened up and showed itself to those who wanted to see
life is not just the road, it is not the field, it is everything, a butterfly effect
i fell asllep , i dreamt of the man of god
i woke up before the sun rose to meet the day walking to him i felt a sence of dread
his clothes were there
his robe of deceit
the cross tarnished, because it all was untrue
im not sure what happened
if he went mad or really found something true
i was shown this because truth is everything, and when you do not have it you have nothing
i walk on ,my feet red and burring but more the wiser for the pain
destination unknown, it really does not matter
i am here and here is where i am

carrie ann kawa  4/2006