my mom

my first christmas  { i am really cute } at times i still put  bows in my hair its my thing  ~: }

i went home

for some this is hard to understand,  you see i have no house to visit when i get homesick , my pictures are far and few meaning i may have 20 pics of my whole life so far ---- , all i have is my memory which is to say excellent , so if you know me , and i did not remember something i am lying or i was listing just destarcted , now i will get to the heart of this tale the other night on hbo was the rock and roll hall of fame , well i watch the whole thing 4 beautiful hours of music real music no offence to this age of fame for sale and image on the line of america idol crap , but music pure in eccence of awsome , well i cryed because it made me think of my mom , my dad , me and mike you see i have a soundtrack for my memories in  1982 heart dont lie " came out i was 9 and it makes me think of that summer " hall and oats " was the time i grew up ever time i hear one of there songs i am back there i once told my mom i would not " marry " i was 8 a boy that did not know private eyes " or think out of touch was awsome , new order  was my touch stone , one of my most funniest moments with my dad i was over at his house and we were watching mtv " when they played music " and r e m came on" stand  ", and my dad said who the hell are they i said r e m and me and mike sang after about 30 secs he turns the sound down rushes to get a credence album and says mtv more enjoyable this way credence up hi and that crap real low , my mom was different she embrass what she knew in music and loved the new stuff my mom was an r e m fan , she loved music all type except country , and elvis i like elvis but to each there own well , she is the one that got me into  jazz, classical, and ever thing else she shaped my world with music so when i watching artha franklin , bruse springsteen i was thinking of her simon and garfankle came on i just cryed sound of silence well if you dont you have no heart when my mom was going thru what she went thru i kept sining to myself i am a rock i am an island so i would not break down and i kept thinking while i watch this when i was a kid none of my friend knew the music i was talking about when i said the smiths , michelle was into bon jovi , all my friends like hair metal me i was the odd one always and forever , when i was 10 i got into the art of noise  but my mom she let our interst grow ever week she would take us to oddesy records to hear whats going on, when i was 9 my mom traded doug  2 oranges and a pepsi for a harmonica she said carrie learn to play it i ask how and she said its in your blood just play , i should just pick one up see if i still have it or at least learn my mom was gifted in the piano which i mention before she did not persue her gift me i can sing when my voice is not all choppy { i have not practice my cords in such a long time and really dont plan on it } she was the last person i sang to and well until a better reason comes to mind i do not see the point now before you call me crazy i sing when i am doing something or a song comes on the radio and i have sang at work because words pop in my head no i mean sing like only god can here you i sang in the hospital for her losing my realigon " she loved that song when she did wake up, long story, she said all i remember was you singing carrie and your moon soooooooooo  i leave you music lovers with this   a picture of me at 6  when i look at her i always think you like elton john that  and the beatles i look at kids now with kid bop and think where is your fleetwood mac where is your duran duran , where is your commadors and fifth dimesion , what ever happen to all of that 


i went home and heard part of the soundtrack of my life they couldnt have it all and wished it could of gone all night  and wished my mom was there , and i heard fortnate son and said dad would have like john peformence he sang it with springsteen  and jeff beck on his guitar doing i heard the news today and i will tell you it was like bannana ceame pie after doing somethig else it was a yes moment   i will leave you with that one  tmi    

 i will get back to poetry in a bit promise            see you later   ----carrie 

just me

today there will be no poem , or way in which i write , i am feeling sick , and my brain keeps thinking about bananna creame pie, i dream about wonderwall , and know he thinks of me not at all , and i wonder to myself why ? is he loose in the head or just not right , and the only answers that come is his first love holds him and she holds him well , and my brain talks to me and says carrie why would he like you the way you like him , and to my replie i wish i could say for sure not but one time he said to me dont stop that odd and the strange , and maybe i like that he puts my ego in cheak , that i cant read him , and to all of this i will put him to the side until he gives me some sort of sign in which i fear may never come crushes suck , poem next week updates when ever i feel : }

wonderwall   i will be around in the front drop by say hi i will keep this girlish crush in cheak  but i will keep looking , not flirting for some strange reason i cant flirt with you not in my way aggggggga and this ofcorse is confession of someone with a very stuffy head and on benadrly ok


i am going home ----------

night comes to madworld

the people of this world world wear cheetah masks opposite of the cat they are slow in nature
they think of themself as predator even though they are prey
the moon hangs high above the city of steel and stone
electric buzzes through shocking the system as it flows
there is no weather , the plainness of no atmospheric pressure leaves the people absent of thought, and it suffocates them
these cheetah people that hunt for garbage and lottery tickets they cannot see in the darkness or transcend the situation at hand there is a meaning there behind lies of human substance
wind so cold face so blue, wings in maroon, naked, bluish skin with tints of red and purple hairless, eyes so gold......she is the night
the stars trail behind there mistress as she holds the moon
reflected light of her sister the sun
the cheetahs growl and went crazy for the lack of something strange and meaningful they wanted to tear her apart and give a piece to each one for the sacrament they pounce on her and left nothing except some feathers
she offended them , because the night holds magic and beauty
now light is what comes when the day ends and it shows more then they wanted to see

carrie ann kawa    8/2008

i am not sure what any of you get from this so let it saute in your mind just a little bit and if you have questions know i am always right there .

this is from clive barker in a way it fits i did not know of this beautiful piece of art until 3 days ago so i thought what fitting enjoy both :}

Intrigued

you walk in and walk out
i glimpse you from afar, you intrigued me
i did not know until i knew of nothing of what i did for you to perplex me as much as you have
faded are the days of my own self conscience shyness
i do not know how to approach you and i feel foolish for trying as my strangeness was too much to take
i stumble on words that are suppose to come effortless, i lose step with my own rhythem
you have a strange confidence about yourself, and yet it falls into modesty and melancholy of the day that takes you with it
you make it hard for me not to know more about you
you hit me with knowledge in small glimpse of yourself
your strange lulling voice
i so want to understand you and have you understand me
in this cynical world, i reach out to an abnormal oddity
i stumble onto the music of you and the rhythem of your beat
you have left me vexed, unsure and undone of myself
i do not understand myself when i am near you
time takes on a strange illusion of not being real
perplex by this strangness at moments i think you look my way and yet that does not feel real but this is your unconventional way

inspired another poem infiity its here on my blog.

carrie ann kawa  1/4/2009     inspired by he knows who he is just a revisit of when i made him feel odd and strange .

THOMAS WALKS AMONG US

He could not take redemption nor the sanctuary of forgivness
he wore guilt as casual as breathing never to break a smile, long face of sorrow bearing tattoos' of dogma faith
he wears her essence around his neck long past love faithful as the wind
alone he walks, sun beating on him as he beats on himself
he remembers her beauty, her face, and lips, hips to breast hands on flesh
tears touch his eyes he wipes them, he never cries for her----inside he howls at the new moon in the deep darknes of the night
he has left it all behind and walks until the pain goes he knows it will never go , prepare to walk until there is nothing left
waiting until he is dust and the wind will carry him back to her embrace into the love she gave where she kissed him blind her touch sent shivers to his very being
he tried to take his life olny to find the reflection of himself wanting him to suffer he took jagged glass and cut his eyes so as not to see nothing but her face
forever etched in his mind
he will walk forever in his desolation

this is work from clive barker : }

carrie ann kawa  9/2006

why do i like {him)

you see i have always been a flirt except with him, i cant put on "the show " why, guys all the time give me their numbers ask me out , flirt back, now  i am just a flirt no one except for one in the past has peeked my intrest as much as him and its not because of what he dose i liked him before the fact , the first time i saw him and i know i have gone on about him before most of the time when i write it purges my mind so dreams and all that stuff do not get the best of me , but no this one , i dream about him , i think about him, why , he gives me no more then a quick glimpes of him and yet i am intriged , this is not like me i grew up in a very cynical home that gave no for thought to i want to say love but i feel that is a bit to much , but in truth it is what it is , my mother told me no man is every going to be the one there is no such thing said a women who was in a bad marraige and a 9 yer realationship born from the bowels of hell , so i never got hooked on a guy and besides my mom would have shot them down , but this one i do not know what it is about him ,i am clueless about my feelings , i am never this way and yet he bring this out in me when i try to talk to him i feel i sound stupid hence a person told me he is scared of me most likly i have botherd him once to often with my querry on his life and well i am me and he is who he is , i am just waiting for this crush to end , they do end dont they ?

in a way his tragic enough to fit : }

 tomorrow poems ---------promise my friends     carrie 

lost

jump rope on the highway 11/14/09 arizona mike took it i feel it fits ;  )

standing in the middle of nowhere
nobody around except for my voice
i yell at the nothingness, hoping
to break some barrier, to let shine through this darkness
i am trying to walk somewhere
to take passage on a train going someplace, anyplace, as long as its not here
to see a face i know, but the faces i have encountered are blank and to stare too long i will lose myself inside their misery and despair
i am walking down a highway the cars that drive by are blurs ,almost like reflection of the state of my mind
never stopping, traveling to nowhere just a destination that carries a different name
i stop at aplace called rest, i try to look at amap, but the names are confusing, and everything points to here, so i check in
the clerk stares at me and then takes the rest of me, for a room with a hard bed , no tv
i took a cold shower then i left
i founnd outt i like the walking
i will travel until i am found


carrie ann kawa 11/1991    10/1993 revised

on the waters edge

we have ways : just a doodle :}

 he has passed this place before

an old wound for an old enemy

he throws pennies into a fountain waiting for wishes

and then he walks to places of unknown, unforeseen force

to place his feet on soil that greatness has walked

he is filled with inner peace

he wonders will his mark be walked on by followers of his kind that are brought on to this world

will his words, will they be known

will they see what he has sees?

question ponder into the deep night

taken flighs on birds to be released into the wind of exotic

smells and nature of undefined patterns

to which the lack of what we know

waterfalls, which hide hidden caves

he sits there and waits to watch and wonder

to walk the waters edge

carrie ann kawa  4/2005

THE UNKNOWN SOUL

I HAVE FALLING AND THE MEANING OF MY EXISTENT WAS...........
   THERE WAS A RHYTHEM , AN UNHOLY BEAT SUBMERGING
MY SOUL SEEMED SMALL AND I WAS NOTHING FOR A BRIEF MOMENT I SIGHED AND LOOKED UPON THE FACE OF ALL
      THE UNIVERSE WAS LAUGHING IN THIS INSTANCE , MY VERY MEANING BECAME COMPLEX AND MY SOUL WAS FULL OF THE MORE I SAW
KNOWLEDGE BECAME AWARNESS
I QUESTION AND ONLY A VOICE SOUNDED THE ANSWERS I HELD THGE TRUTH
  I MADE MYSELF INTO THE IMAGE OF .....I ....TRANSFORMING MY MEANING INTO SOMETHING STRANGE THE RHYTHEM AND THE RHYME OF LIFE HELD A BALANCE I WAS A TEMPLE
 I HAVE WALKED THE PATH OF MANKIND AND STILL FEEL OVERWHELMED BY MY COMPLEXITY
I HAVE FALLING AND THE SKY CAME TO MEET ME AND MY WINGS OUTSTRETCHED I FLEW OFF INTO THE COMING OF THE UNKNOWN SOUL

CARRIE ANN KAWA  6/2007

the bird that held a city

this is my bird, why, i do not know

these are the things i doodle ,child like, well most likly i am not an artist just a doodler of colors and words

and besides i wanted to get it back up on my blog and to all the dreamers out there hey sometimes you should wake up for a moment look outside and say to your self  life is not all that bad okay trust me i know what i am talking about next week thursday more poems old and new one called intrigued  some of you have already read that one and it made you feel odd and strange so it will be a rerun to that emotion and then an older one from some time in the pass  your guess is as good as mine

until we meet again in places of decay  goodnight -----------carrie

where is my empty ?

i had my desert the perfection of the nothingness, stillness of no wind

when it was , it became someting my soul knows and yet i cannot keep what is not mine.

i have walked thru my childhood it leads footprints into the strangeness of me

the heat of the day beats on me i know the truth of god of the perception of god

the hazy lines of heat are befor me like a deeping mirage of something meaningful

i lay down in the desert of empty to watch the sunset on old to rise to new

i am an adult child wanting to grow up into something worthy of my truth

the sand from the desert is my hourglass

the city displays itself builds itself up glittering in the sunshine, lights up the nights,but i knew my city when she was naked and cold

the moon in the middle of january was something i can never explain, rain fell that night i walked home in it so i can cry

my city understood my tears the heat of the day was brutal i needed it to be for may blasted my soul and left me in the refuge of sorrow

carrie ann kawa  7/7/2008

inspired by michael alex kawa   brother

i think it is very hard for people to understand how it was to grow up in las vegas they see the show girl vegas all glitter and gold some see tragic whore vegas that stands on the street and sells her soul to ever one

then there realigon vegas you see sin and virtue are friends day and night kind if thing

for me i see the places i grew up and i have seen them torn down my house i grew sorta up in is a parking lot off of 10th street right before charlston my schools are still there , i live in the aera i grew up in and i have moved so many times i can not count , in 5th grade i went to 6 schools if that tells you anything , my point and i do have one is that my home is every so changing the poem above was me seeing thru my brothers eyes on the sickness and death of are mother {now do not let that influence what you get out of my words you did not know my mom so it should not matter } me and mike walked back and forth to the hospital we had the money to take the bus ,but we chose not to we walk in our home we needed it when she died we walked , now for about a month or maybe a little longer i find out my dad has passed dose it change my anger towards him ---------nope { but it makes me reflect on my childhood and the things i find magic in i am proud to say i still find magic in and if that makes me sound stupid or inmature or what ever so be it there are too many cynical people out there they want to look at everthing in a way fine i too can be cynical but happiness is a chose so that is where i stand if you see me smiling its because no matter what life is dealing you and trust me not one day of my life has been easy i have to work at it {i just make it look easy } ther is always a little magic around in the empty.          later carrie

of not and me

near a church in the old part of town
a man blows smoke, it billows out of him, and a woman forms
sexually in an overt manner, provocative persuasion
content of a vixen
she mouths to him
i want to kiss you in places of decay
he stares at the statue of mother mary, and never trying to understand this strange
he whisk her away
he prays to all the saints to understand his temptation and yet he feels not delivered
in dreams she calls out to him, begging to be kissed
wanting him for the lack of himself in the moment of timeless conception
he wakes in cold sweats , not knowing this world anymore
he goes to places of decay graveyards and such and finds nothing but the silence that they keep
he goes to an abandon building of dilapidated substance
there she is waiting for him, in gossamer of white and sheer of a kind her hair flows with the subtitle movements of the wind
she speaks and yet he cannot hear her words
she is fading fast, and he leaps to catch her only to find his own death at her hands
we watch, and yet we do not understand and we still cannot look away

carrie ann kawa 11/05/2009/

inspired on the way to work saw something strange     ---------later carrie

trying to find me

i sit here and i ponder who am i ,  { am i the clown that ever one sees } am i the bussiness major ,  am i the poet that no one sees , for they think i lack in the words to express one self , i use to be a daughter that role was taken from me . or the mother { of a cat for 17 yers } but alas death took that from me , i am always the big sister , i still find myself , between life , and still everone sees what they want to see but do they see the embodedment of me an aspect of the abstract , some see me as young and some see me as old looks can be deceving , i am imature when i choose to and very mature when it calls for it . well i drenched you in my grey matter and left you wanted more pieces of me didnt i   i knew it you can not get enough of me ----kidding or am i    just me placed out there for you to see .  new poem on tuesday or two who knows


later-------------carrie

my face in the darkness

to which i am, to understand my self

reflects my faults

when light shines there is nothing here in this vast wasteland of thought

i roam here-- in soulless self to find my place, and yet i am not

in micro--movements of nonsense

trading in the sand, desert upon desert

my time is running away and yet i go slowly

glass shards lay at my feet; upon step by step i crush them

feet left bloody, i left tracks of myself for them to find me. open wound

it seems my enemies get stronger with my struggle

i closed my eyes the darkness inside my mind seems darker then before

i place my hands in front of me, reaching, reaching

mindful of the way

there is something out there in all of this

i see her in the distant

blurred in content, twisted in the wind of abstract

she is even in texture of mindful distant

to find out it is my reflection mirror cold to touch scrutinizing my own self awareness

my face in the darkness, light upon myself knees on the ground, words in motion

carrie ann kawa   10/31/2009

this one took me 5 min to write only my sub conscience knowes whats its about if any one else has an idea let me know other wise what ever you get out of my words is fine with me

i hope ever one had a fun halloween  

trick or treat  wonderwall    -----------later carrie   

he made me silent

touching me, releasing my soul

he gave me wings

whispering magic in the air

i am everything he aid i was

he worships' me

craving my eyes, face, voice, lips, touch

i crave him just as much

locked into each other stares

a cosmic connection of desire

we are music and poetry

beautifully formed evenly match

aggression and obsession

he takes his fingers over my body tracing out designs of faith

i am nothing without him he makes my soul complete

utopia is in his arms

kissing his fingers

silent i made him 

carrie ann kawa    10/1998

well this one is 11 yrs old from note book 15  when i first read through it i was like i do not remember writing this one , but i leave my self noted and i doodle near it all a dream if you saw my notebooks my doodles take a life of their own   .

well

sleep to dream

sorry no poems this week i have been working on a  paper and i could not find a poem i am in the mood to blog i promise next tuesday a poem , but i have been to tired this week , also not alot of sleep you see wonder wall has been in every dream i have had his either trying to avoid me in one he will not talk to me i ask him why and he says to me i have no time for you in my life i ask no t even to talk as friends and he says to me i have too many friends and do not think of you as a friend i said why to this he replied because -----in another one he gives me this nice hug , i liked this one but then he leaves ,i said to myself i have to let my crush on him go but my sub conscience  will not let go why if there is nothing is there should not my grey matter help me but no i will torture myself  hoping he will notice me instead of me always saying hi first he will say hi carrie how is it going , or just say something strange and odd  , but i am just being me today i have to jam the bus waits for no one it really dosent 


good night wonder wall


carrie

is it just me

is it just me , or dose every idiot that plays guitar hero think oh now i can play the guitar i can not stand those who think  just because you can play a video game dose not mean you have talent . talent is a gift of passion, if you do not have the passion forget about it , you have to have the drive , you see i would write even if not one person would read it , i have poems that i would not share with anyone except my brother , and maybe others that would understand my thoughts , in full someone that would not judge me . for my strange thoughts of reason. so my point is passion has to drive you , not oh i won guitar hero so i can play .

wonder

i wonder dose any magic exsist anymore or has the cynical world taken over , now do not get me wrong cynical can be good but it just seems everyone wants to kill whats magic is left , what i mean love can be magiacal , art in all its forms is a certain magic , the discovery of somrthing new , people are so oh you just found that out why ruin it let that person know thats cool enjoy but know we have to shit on people to feel better about our selfs its what we do , well i try to make a little magic everyday i know of a couple of people that do i know they do not belive its magic that they are creating but , it is .



see you later
hello wonderwall  keep the magic flowing -------------carrie

time after time

some days i want to know what is in his mind what is he thinking what does he want i want to say hey lets have a conversation thats all i want words that flow back and forth in an invisiable current of thought two people just talking the sad part is i can talk and talk and talk to everyone but with him its like i have to force my self to say hi { what i really am saying i am not aveage and you intrige me so lets talk i want to know so much more about you } but he throws me off , i get very shy with him now he may not see it as shyness but it is , and its not a side of me that is every shows up but with him its like i do not know what its like . a post tomorrow and thursday .


later carrie

blue diamond

hair black like the night never was ,shades rebel look
riding on the roads of the world that was,and never will be
born when the war was in its infancy,and then it took over like a plague
now his home in ruins, and the dead watch him drive by he can feel their stares
patrisimism is a lie; the flag adorns his car clinging like a whore
he catches his reflection in the mirror
chiese symbols adorn his face
piercing on his upper lip
he feels like a force to be wrecking with
this is his time, his now, his future
the hungrey people stand in line, being preached on except jesus into your heart, he rather go hungry , he rather drink from the devil fountain and get chased down with death
hospitals are full, the streets are empty, and marshal law is in place
everyone has a curfew the price of freedom
the cops stop him dressed in their black , walk like a gangster from a forgotten movie of old,backward acid trip
they look into into his car, fuzzy dice, suger, caffine, music of another time, all illegal contra bans
the look he gives is definite
he takes off his shades eyes brilliant blue
he gets off with a warring
he drives off , with a look in his eyes
his home an abandon circus, others like him stay here, a hotel with gapes and holes
the smell of popcorn and money still linger like a trip from the past
the midway full of old video games is where he lays his head
he knows other city lay in ruins, but this is his home
the city of sin
devastation was handed down like the wrath of god
he thinks to himself what a joke
when the sun rises the heat will go out like a murderer on a rampage, and it will feel like hell
he will sleep until night comes with her beautiful moon and ride until he finds his path


carrie ann kawa    3/2007

what is going on

my life is becoming so sureal i am not sure anymore where its going i have a crush on wonderwall and for some strange reason i cannot talk to him my words do not feel right and on the other side of the coin too many men keeo on hitting on me and i just do not care i am just going off on tangents , life is to mean with you find some one so interesting , so funny, so very cute ,and i caanot even talk to him all my life i never had a problem like this most of the time i can read a person and know what they are thinking him i do not know not even a little well i will post a poem on tuesday old , new , one that has not form yet in my grey matter it need to be cutivated out and formed with words and passion of thought a dream with in a dream ,because we all are dreamers at some point the sad part is when one gives up on that dream because of obseculs or they give up on there self sometimes our dreams may not work out but aleast you tried or they do not work out in the same way you thought they should but they are there balloons in the air floating up wards to find home


later------------------------------carrie

the wisper in the night

some forgotten traveler , jeans worn, tortured eyes
lost in my thoughts, silent and watchful
he dreams of me
its my face he sees when he closes his eyes
the pain we both feel
the lies we we both tell
he searches for me
i am gone  before he gets there
he is the love of my life
we created each other, spoke life into each other
i am consider sin to him
forbidden and obscured
tantalizing in my awareness
i have craved him for so long; he has tasted me on the wind
letting me touch all of him, not knowing what the night would bring
he is the face i see when i close my eyes
eyes tortured , some times confussed, not knowing if obsession and love are different or the same
we have crossed on so many levels, and yet we end up in the same place
 most start in heaven, but we both know the truth hell gave birth to the torture and the pain
we have lived there for too long fighting our way out losing footing, but getting there
he held out his hand for me, and i for him someday we will meet our story will merge and the words that will be written, " i have know your face a lifetime


carrie ann kawa 9/1998


well i am back this one is 11 years old  its not about anyone just the idea of some one again another dream my subconscience has its way with me

hey wonder wall hello -----------------------later carrie

Echos on the edge of the abyss

strange time , that we do not see with eyes , but feel
i wanted to fall , slowly into the abyss of dreams and a different sense of reality
hearing my mothers voice in the distant
i felt tangible , and yet not real for a moment everything went silent
voices coming at me from everywhere
stars were on the ground, and the moon above my head
for a brief moment i was apart of something, magnetic forces
i looked over to my twin and knew he was there in that moment
we did not speak because words between us are never needed
everyone else seemed faded except the nature itself
i wanted to gather this moment
i walked here before with parents who passed on, with people long gone , and yet there ghost stay in in the wind of past , future, and present
the wound of my sadness, bleed for a little bit , and my cynical side tried very hard to sew it back up ,but in truth , i will never know
why he was the way he was , and time left an ocean between us filled with both our stubbornness
he can only come to me in dreams of thought and give me the truth in illusions of a child memories
he knows why he needs to say what he needs to say , and yet again the abyss
the echos of the past were there and so was the future
strange colors played on the wall of the mountains
i was home in a different reality of such
then i realize i am always trying to find my place here
i have to understand my place is anywhere i place my feet




Carrie Ann kawa 10/01/2009

into the mystic

hello


tomorrow i will be posting two poems old and one i am working on right now also i will have my week off at school so i will be getting rest { i think} this term has been one of the hardest on me and my mind was else where

my wisdom for today do not regret or do not let her get away because one day you will wake up and say why


or it was OK to be a little mean to an aunt who opened an old wound and it is taking time to heal
or just say hello it will not kill you

those just poped in to my head


see you later --------------------carrie

growing up kawa

first lets start its pronounce {kay--wa} in Poland it means coffee what was it like nothing was the way it should have been it was complicated and i know every one child hood was complicated mine was strange at best there was not a moment i was not traveling like a gypsy or being put in my place by my dad you see after all the drama i got my sorry from my mom before she passed away in all her messed up thoughts she knew the responsibility's she laid at my feet but my father -----------i just found out he died i am not a 100% sure but it feels right and my gut has never been wrong i will never get my sorry from him that man owes me one trust me big time when i am less angry i will write in more detail but enjoy the poem inspired by my momsie which she was well aware of



Carrie -----------------see you later

MY ENDLESS CRUSADE

Standing in the middle of nowhere looking for fire

the dreams of the modern man are scatter in the waste land

she cannot hear my voice in the darkness

i am slowly fading away

finally i see my escape

to escape

to fall into my lunacy. is truly my salvation

i have drowned in her misery for so long

i have forgotten my way home

she has lead me on a journey of madness

ever so consuming

a part of her enjoyed my endless crusade

she also hated me in the same capacity

she has become my asylum

which to escape, i would be hunted down

and tortured for giving chase to my freedom

i will sit here and listen , until she lets me go

Carrie Ann kawa 6/1998

book it

hey hi hello


on monday new poems and the details on growing up kawa and more mike poetry for my friends a treat for others i leave you wonder in the darkness and the light




wonder wall -----------------------------------------------------


see you later carrie

the women and the waiting man

she is fantasy to see only once the walking dream vision in light lover in darkness
nameless except when the wind kisses his cheek

she stood on a hill to look back at him her eyes carved love into his heart and soul tortured by her bewiderness , bewitched by her coyness

she walks off only leaving her essences to drive him to wait forever
she fades into the underworld , it is confession of the sun, the afterglow moonlight prophecy
welcomes her to places she has never been , too see music in forms of colors and thoughts tangibly in texture and the sense of herself in the mixture of it all

she is in her blues and greens fading in and out pointing North fashioning herself on the world

Davine makeshift prophet , hands on her lips , on her lips . she is sexually in nature moving into the wind becoming water, taste like fire feet on earth she is the mountains whispering into the nothing like a scream of silent she sheds to become a new and yet old is her home

she comes back to him changed by what she saw , her walk is like a vixen eyes no longer innocent her gaze is intrusive as she sees inside to read you and take you apart piece by piece

she is winter icy with angel wings dressed in black like death walking towards the apocalypse waiting for her lover , words not spoken the moon guides her many emotion fierce and sadness she screams his name

frozen , the world held her heart and it broke from loneliness


women dressed in winter eclipse the sun by her moon skin pale , tint of the snow last fall , she is the deep howls that the wind carries her eyes are deep like seas that give away to oceans she looks into you waiting for the real you to emerge then walks away, leaving you shaking never to be you again

his sun welcomes her melting her into his warm embrace she needs his warmth it breaks her apart for him to put her together again

he is the morning and she craves to wrap herself in it , he holds her as he gives all of him to this place, her love was hungry her lips upon his body his touch was an artist forming her : tracing scares and star shaped tattoos that adorn her back

where had she been what had she seen , he wanted to keep her to posses her , but he knew he could not . she dressed in her winter as he lay naked with essence still covering him she smiled at him which reminded him of the first time he saw her

before she left he grabbed her hand pleaded with his eyes for her not to leave, she kissed him lovingly and with a passion he will never know again

she walked out to the winter , sky grey in contrast to her black walking up the hill the wolfs follow her


he fell to his knees unaware of the cold and cried iced tears that shattered on the ground
his woman gone , when her heart grows cold she will seek him out and there forever will last as there never lasted in brief sighs of eternity



carrie ann kawa 12/2006




i cannot get my pics on but my words stay true now that is a man someone that loves a person so much he will wait if love or relationships were that easy but we as human in our cynical way seem to sabotage our selves we do not know what we have until that person stops giving us the attention we crave well it is weird i just got a message on my cell that like sharp objects and shiny things


see you later Carrie

hello

tomorrow my pictuers will be back up i messed with something and screwed something up and if you know me i do stuff like that but that is what makes me fun and amusing




later carrie

THE TRUTH OF SOUND

ITS A RHYTHM , A BEAT
NOTES ON A GUITAR, VOICES ON THE WIND
INTRINSIC, ELABORATE,ELECTRIFY, SOUND
SILENCE CAN NEVER BE , THERE IS ALWAYS SOUND
SCRATCHING,ECHO OF AN OLD RECORD OR THE DIGITAL FINISH OF ELECTRIC FANTASY
JUPITER GIVES OFF ITS OWN COSMIC RADIO SIGNAL , PLAYING A GALACTIC MUSICAL TOO THE UNIVERSE
SOUND IN ITS TRUE FORM CAN BE CONFIGURE , BOUNCING OFF THE STATE OF MIND
MAKING IT STRANGE AND UNUSUAL
SOUND CAN COME AT US IN WAVES
CRASHING OR GENTLY TAKEN US TO SHORE
SOUND MOVES US IN A GRAND SYMPHONY
VOICES IN THE DISTANT WHISPER, SAYING OUR NAME , THAT SAME VOICE SAYING HELLO
IN WAYS WE DO NOT KNOW
WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR FINDING ARE OWN RHYTHM
OUR OWN BEAT TO MASTER




CARRIE ANN KAWA 9/13/2009 INSPIRED BY A PICTURE I SAW OF A MAN WITH HEAD PHONES ON A STRANGE INTRIGING MAN VERY CUTE MAN 1312

my dear maria

i know you of all people care it was not meant for you just those who choose to visit but choose not to speak of what they read like i am taboo something to hide away from those people are whom i meant



wonder wall i cannot wait for the sound to hit me straight on like a mack truck at full speed where they will be nothing left of me i will be a happy mess


see you later ---------------carrie

watch out

hello people of the underground who get no appreciation for who you are you go through life with something to say and it turns out no one wants to hear it well to all the voices in the darkness i will listen if you want me too


STOP ! THERE ARE THREE NEW POEMS ONE SO NEW MY PEN IS STILL HOT AND THE INK IS EVERY WHERE SO PLEASE READ ON , AND IF ANY ONE CARES , I KNOW MARIA YOU DO, I FINISHED WITH THE REST OF MY MOMS THINGS I KNOW ITS OVER A YEAR BUT THIS ONE WAS THE HARD PART SO IF YOU SEE A TOUCH OF SADNESS WELL YOU WILL SEE A TOUCH OF SADNESS BECAUSE I FINALLY LET GO -----------------------------


WONDER WALL BRING THE FUNKY OUT OF THIS UNIVERSEAL NOISE

MARIA WE WILL TALK


AND TO THE REST GOODNIGHT AND SEE YOU LATER CARRIE

lost juile

she cannot understand why he dose not see her
a face that showed so much sadness
" hey Dahlia"was playing on the radio it seemed it was a reflection of her soul
and for one moment it seemed i could see all of her sadness, she fought back the tears and sighed heavily
wearing a shirt that read one day and one night only , i wondered was it her motto
she read a book of ghost elusive images of such
she kept looking outside was he coming back her illusion of support
the words she was reading was she actually reading them or was that just a page she calmed , they gave her spiritual awareness, but i know that was not true
her hair hanged in her face like a shield
her disappointed was profound
that i wanted to say something yo her
i knew she was waiting , waiting to be in relief of her mental status
what was troubling her she seemed so misunderstood
twisting in the wind tumbling in this world
she sinks deeper into the silence deeper into the madness



carrie ann kawa 9/06/2009
inspired by a women at my brothers doctors i was writing looking at her writing but an artist has to do what an artist has to do

THE SEDUCTION

His face was shadowed by a night that never was

a man on a mission to seduce his target of choice

sleepy voice that lulled her into submission

traced her lips with his finger then his tongue

taking her in, she fell into his darkness

his damage intrigued her, fading into him

needing to emerge, he took her wronged her, and left her

she turned vicious, and lashed out

he transformed her forever, becoming something unfamiliar

still hearing that sleepy voice

the whisper in the light that turned dark

his hands on her body pressing on her soul

the physical turning into a spiritual phenomenon

she wanted the kiss that first awareness of the dawn

he knew her weakness before she knew his name

eyes that told a story of her own weakness

she fell for the like of her own

Carrie Ann kawa 2008

AS I WONDER

I left the cold to find you

i left the place where they worship me

to be with you, to place my hands on your body, having you kiss my belly

have the rush of your soul

like the wind go through me

i need you to master my wild ways

to tame the storm in me

the others can never conjure silence from me

only you do this this to me. only you make me want something larger then the universe itself

you have a way about you

i walk through the city

i saw your trace, on the streets

then i went to the desert where the rocks are red

your place in the sun

red dust spun around me,leaving its presence

on myself red on the night

i touched where you have laid your head

knowing that you thought of me

you were no place to be found

i touched the rocks, hoping they would tell me where you are , they kept their secrets

i stood on the edge and declared myself queen of your land

the wind told me to tread lightly

i ignored its intuition

feeling your desire for me

how you long to kiss me

each time it seems the forces keep us apart

i so badly wanted you, i craved you in ways that surprised me

i long to wake up by your side

so the sun can know we shared the moon that night

alas you missed your chance of me coming to you , to lay down my defenses and declaring myself yours

now you have to seek me out

in my church where frozen statues of me stand and scrutinize the non believers

my lover of ancient, i climbed back to the night

i left my charm on your rock

find me in all the bitterness of the world

Carrie Ann kawa 8/31/2009

hey

next week "as i wonder " will be posted and the lady and the waiting man " Timothy and anaka have a story a weird strange emotional story so i hope you like the new pics and my strange doodle


until i see you some time next week wonder wall i hope the music keeps going the way you guys want

maria maria thank you for red rock next time water and hopefully i will find a way to post the pics sis

to my brother mike "its always the transformer " you can say his obsessed i would





see you later ttfn-------------------------carrie

the naked desert of timothy jacob

THE blue sky Turing pink with night time storms on the rise, fading into the slate grey mountains then into the red rocks

the stars come out, promising that the universe exist, for the sun blinds us of our place in the milky way

he stands there with a fire burning hoping it will burn the demons from his soul

naked and unashamed, skin reddened an angel tattoo adorns his back, her wings spread out breast full and ample holding a crystal ball, her eyes saying something only a man that is her lover would understand

his whitish hair catches the wind and that glim in his eyes

the fire light reflects on those worn torn scars

he holds out his arms to the night almost daring god to come and take him

his clothes stained with blood, his soul stained also

the blood of evil of sinners, the same type of soulless degenerates that took her , shamed her , tore her apart, he exist for vengeance, time is an illusion for him

he chose to stop counting the years until they just became nothing, he dose not live in the metaphoric hourglass, he is pass the man made devise, something he soul shares with the universe

the sound of the desert eases his anger heart. tears run down his face for her , he sheds them alone, only the coyotes' in the distant see this and howl on his behalf for his pain

he nods in genuine gratitude of the jester

heat lighting comes crashes down near him , it lights up his face, a demon n angel, a man , maybe the judge, jury, and executioner the exquisite way that it illuminates all of it

the fire dwindles down, the sky turns darker , its a new moon

timothy Jacob lays there in that darkness of the desert, and knows his place in it

carrie ann kawa 8/2007

at the red rock

well i went to the place that i know timothy jacob loves i am going to on wes blog " the naked desert of timothy jacob" and a brand new one

i have to thank maria a place i have not gone to even though i lived here all my life weird what you miss out on so the well of inspration is running deep you will read hopefully i will put the picture on the blog until next

ttfn----------------------carrie

yesterday

some one had to be playing it "yesterday ' i had to fight the urge to cry why she half to go i miss my mom dam her for dying dam


next week two poems possible three not sure


wonderwall i will see you friday and tuesday and if you know who you are wonder wall say something unusal like sherlock unless you are truly scared of me then i know

good night for now
ttfn--------------carrie

bells on lament

i know of no other sound , except the bells on lament street where the church of truth is, it has a presence about it

you walk on the opposite side of the street, he stood there staring at me with eyes that were not his own

the church bells were louder then i remember them to be

i brushed pass him and i caught hold of something---- a feeling and yet i let it go afraid to touch it

to know it to see it

it started to rain, my hair drenched, i love the cold, it summons me , it knows who i am

i felt a deep pain that i know was the stranger , as if i were to say to him, i know how your eyes should see me how they should feel then --------------

thoughts trail off, confussion sets in,and i walk back to the church of truth and go inside

a statue of an angel peers at me from above i was here before in a dream its always a dream

i sat in a pew the alter was adorn with the wishes of a million souls undistinguishabble designs that kept changing with the passing of the sun

the stain glass window showered colors on their dreams and wishes

he sits besides me and holds my hand he cries in soft sobs and i feel his sorrow as if it were my own

carrie ann kawa 8/2008

two for one both written in the same week both befor i started my wonderful job in a place i like to call target land i ride the tea cups because i honstly never know which way there are going to spin me also befor i started school they were very strange visions that enter my minds eye

so please enjoy ------- on sunday we were talking about record players and it got me thinking where my deep love of music came from when i was 4 my dad for chrismas got me an orange transister radio i listen to it all the time the beatles, credence, boz sages bob seiger and the silver bullet band zepplin "the eagles" my mom with her beautiful motown and the mahatten transfer a jazz quartet, then when i was 5 my mommsie got me my first record player my first record was disney i listen to we can fly from peter pan always a nd chim chim chere from mary poppins then i would sneek my moms commador recordes and listen to them and her earth wind and fire

the first one i bought on my own accord was michael jackson why because vincent price

then rick springfield then i got into billy joel then it got stranger from there my mom would say when i was in the womb she would listen to elton john all the time when she passed tiny dancer came on the radio i cried like a baby i still do

next week the" seduction "and the "lady and the waiting man"

remember to read on goodnight wonder wall i hope life has been productive where that creative vibe has found you well

sister of the universe three dog night on the 6th free free free make sure caveman knows carrie will not take no for an answer

see you later---------------------------------carrie

MAN OF WHITE AND STONE

He sits on a chair of stone,eyes closed, feet on ground hands clasped together in prayer of thought.

this man of many tongues dressed in robes of many shades of white different from the next

his skin is the purity of white , of his thoughts. and the nonsense of the delivery of his kind onto the wind

the darkness that surrounds him only illuminates his presence

when you look at him you notice he is hairless ,a tattoo of an ancient language adorns his head

his features are plain expected in the subtle movements of his facial expression

one moment he looks pained the next as if he has reached nirvana

a girl child on the edge walks up to the man of white , she is dressed in black

whispers something to him sits in front of him on the ground of the universe crossed legged hands out

two glass orbs of blue and green in each hand , she starts to hum

the man opens his eyes they are only white--blind ---expect you know he sees you

you start to understand how naked your soul is how vulnerable, how infantile, how cosmic

the child starts to scream he covers her mouth and takes her screams in

in some ways it ends who you are, the orbs fall on the ground shatters

he smashes his feet in to the shards and walks off

the little girl is no longer a child she becomes a women long blonde hair with raven feathers at the end

she stands on the stone chair, goddess of the underworld her hands move in motion of magic making conjuring and conspiring

she smiles this mischief maker she opens her cloth of black to reveal her nakedness in subtle changes

she becomes the universe ,galaxy upon galaxy, infinity upon infinity

the man of white walks backs in and kneels in front of her

he is praying to mother of invention he walks through, she closes her robe sits on a chair made of stone

eyes closed hands clasped together in prayer of thought the darkness almost eclipses her

a boy child on the edge dressed in maroons with hair of black whisperers to her and sits on the ground in front of her

holding a black sphere he throws it up in the air it spins with a violent fury it grows in size and density

he sobs tears that would fill an ocean she lets him cry she stands to the side he stands up he grows into a man

he opens his robe to revel time the beginning the end and everything else

she cannot enter on to him she is immense and he is infinity

they sit on the chair back to back

a girl child on the edge hair of red , skin of pale fade in grey and blue

she does not whisper to them she stands looking at them scrutinizing, them, writing it all down

she becomes faded until she disappears

then it all fades out

Carrie Ann kawa 8/08

thank you

i love feedback i crave more ; just like others you need to know how they have an effect on you
tommorow man of white and stone ; possible another one to tempt your mental pallet
until the moon comes out and the sun shines in another part of the world

wonderwall hopefully i will see you thursday
maria yes i have to use your name
and the rest goodnight

where the day takes you

i find myself in a weird realm of thinking , i am lost in a storm of strangeness . do i stay in this realm or start to become normal ? i ponder this , as i ponder most things in my life those who cannot except me can leave the building those that like that i am weird can stay



another "where the hell is she going with this " from carrie
next week " man of white and stone "

goodnight wonder wall
hope things go well for you captain a
maria three dog night on the 6Th of Sept think about it its free free free free free free
remember the energy you take should equal what you make
see you later cak

MICHAEL'S PHILOSOPHIC PHRASES

I HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT HIM BEFORE MY BROTHER MICHAEL , WELL FROM TIME TO TIME HIS PHILOSOPHIC PHRASES WILL BE POSTED


DREAM'S ARE LIQUID, LIKE RIVERS ,THEY FLOW
LAKES JUST STAY DORMANT
OCEANS ARE VAST, AND SEAS KEEP LAND CONNECTED
JUST LIKE RAIN STORM'S. COME THUNDERING IN
DREAM'S DISAPPEAR
IN JUST A BLINK OF YOUR EYES


MICHAEL ALEX KAWA 8/17/2009



I THOUGHT THIS WAS BRILLENT AND IT WENT WELL WITH SALT

UNTIL LATER TRY TO REMEMBER LIFE IS HOW YOU MAKE IT AND WITH ALL ITS TWIST AND TURNS YOU ARE BETTER FOR ALL THE HITS YOU TAKE


CARRIE ---------------------------------------------

THE DEATH OF SALT

If only i were a man

i started in the darkness

buried in the soil of the earth, reaching for the light

i was created in clay, water, wind

formed in the sea and rivers

formed to be a messenger

to speak for humanity, to listen to their tales and witness their lives

i weep for in my eternal sadness

they forged my wings from their bloodshed, years upon years of war and conflict

my wings catch the wind and i am in flight

traveling over cities and countries

looking for peace and quiet, finding none

i sat upon a rock alone surrounded by water

talking with my hands to the spirts of the dead

i look up at the sun; i went blind, from the intensity of the light

the voices of gods pierced inside my mind, and read my scared tattooed of transgression

now they know the secrets of the world

she , it, him , whispered to me 'IT IS TIME TO FADE'

i will never know if i will ever be born again

i am dissolving, feathers into dust skin to water

the wind blowes me away

my conscience becomes one of something that is greater than me

the last of me watches the moon rise and give birth to the stars

i am no more and yet i am salt

carrie ann kawa 4/2007

that is the end of our friend salt will he be back honstly i do not know i never force a poem or those who choose to be in them if or when salt comes back i will let you know

next week "man of white and stone "

i have to be quick

i am and always will be reality and fantasy are one and the same we make life into what we want it to be we let our selves fall into the cracks of life


i needed to mentaly doodle i am doing so much math all i see is numbers


see you next week hopefully carrie out

carrie ann

that is who i am i no more or less then my name i write because i know no other way every word i write are little taste of me if that makes any sence my loves music plays one of the biggest parts in my life my mom played it always i have a soundtrack of my life art, movies, books i cannot go without my brothers thoughts , maria "s ---------, i am drawn to certain people , i have a wicked sence of humor , my mom used to play the piano since she was three years old her talent was never fully discoverd and it got left behind in the saddess ways that will always have an effect on me because her own music is in my head but i can never reproduce it and that is a sadnees other then that why am i blogging this because in life you need to let yhe world know hey i am here and i am not going anywhere and my plans for world domination oh that was a secret dam i have to stop telling all my secrets well you do not know them all and by the way the death of salt eill be blogged next week and then we will go on from there


goodnight wonder wall sleep well
maria maria maria
mike my transformer freak of a brother

ttfn carrie out

GEMINI

They stand on the beach of nowhere, a place that the storm of times converge and meet

Lanterns are place for souls that hold light , they cover the beach,many have grown dark, mankind's' lack of remorse

they are the keepers here, face into face, twins, sisters of order and chaos, sun and moon, evil and good , the beginning and the end

they play games of child blessing, waiting, they get lost in their own thoughts

reflecting prism of light, shadows of the darkness

they sit on the ground, unaware of their own self reliance

Gemini finds a stone, smooth from the ages , cut deep from the waves, a wind shutters pass, more souls leave, they whisper we are at the end there is no other way

it is time to make craft;their hands make mirror configuration, ancient symbols only they know

they know the rhyme, they know the language

he is coming, summoning him,Gemini throws the stone, the ocean of existence swallows it as to confirm they have been acknowledge

the chant of ages begins -----the stone is the light, the mocking birds take to flight, the moon is the goddess of the night , time is an illusion,and the end is just the beginning

each of them place sand in their hands. and let it fall in the water

they look at each other puzzled by what is forming, the water gives vision, and one laughs as the other cries

in the distant a water Sprite tornado emerges, Gemini points, and they start to jump up and down

the twins stand in the water, waiting for salt to emerge, and begin

he comes out of the ocean depth like a child born, naked, black wings stretched out, he is so he can be

long black and silver hair billow es in the wind, he places his feet on the sand, the movement of time

Gemini hands him his clothes: shirt, jeans, hat and razor

he walks ---Gemini follows

in the distant the cries of war echoes like a lone wolf

one of the twins giggle, as the other looks scornful at her counterpart

salt understands the storm is beginning

emotional baggage of those who have been left behind

Gemini skips ahead; they stumble on the castle maker, old as if age is his disguise

he goes up to salt and places his face in salts hands and weeps a thousands tears

Gemini is moved and complacent by this open show of emotion

salt holds this man tears and swallows every one; the man goes back and builds again

Gemini kicks at his attempt; salt knows this is their way

their destination is the city

where human existence lives their lives in the banality of the day

their journey was hard, the terrain complicated

on the outskirt of no name city, they stop at the church of the gods of many names, people are praying---a wedding is taken place

Jesus and Lucifer are sitting in the front singing hymns of long ago dead rock and roll musician

Buddha is in the confessional, while Ali is playing jacks with the archangel Michael; choirs of the many Hindu gods are singing Ava a maria

Gemini goes up to the alter, to sacrifice

salt goes up to Jesus and Lucifer to ask how father is and they answer at the same time as if they were twins of the same time and reality

during the wedding ceremony Adam reabsorbs eve, and now they are one

in the same fashion that explains a lot

they leave the church of many gods

Gemini knows they our the beginning and the end , the past and the future

the city is filled with more confusion, more chaos, then with order there is a lack of balance

Gemini finds her sister is fading

salt knew this would happen for a while

things go from bad to much worse

Carrie Ann kawa 1/2007

next week' the death of salt " i will let you process this one

until all our one

keep your feet on the ground

i am and then i am not but always Carrie ttfn

sorrow

we can not predict when sadness takes us over when we miss someone so bad are very being is damage from the hits we take my sister of the cosmos my heart goes out to you use your feeling and shape the space around you remember we are women we are magical its in are nature we can do things that brave men love to witness nothing perverted just whimsical or maybe its the artist of the world that posses magic one or the other maria listen to some sad music eat ice cream and curse his name and remember men run from their feelings unless they are brave then they face it head and heart on some are just coward and you can have him read this and he can understand you need to listen to Elton john and other things start writing

other then that its OK to walk in the shadows sometimes the light is to bright and never be afraid to be yourself everyone thinks i am a little off why ? because i refuse to let life drag me down and i laugh and try to have a good time is that wrong? or are people just cant take a person happy that they are themselves i no people think i have this evil side i will call mischievous side it sounds so much better

tomorrow Mr. salt until ---------------then good night wonder wall

maria i know and understand
mike transform and roll out
and to the rest ttfn

nothing is real

silence encases the night blacking out the day , erasing the light
visions dance in the rain,drenching the minds of those who welcome the strange
the sun hangs in the sky made out of paper--mache stars and moons of silver foil fame
trees and flowers colored like children took to them with vengeance
echoing that this world is full of menace
words leak out of books so what remains is never quite the same
stick figure people run this world of make believe
what we see is not what we see , where shadows exist, and truth runs like zebras made out of Popsicle's stick
i know of of what i say , or what i do
i sit here in red to believe in crimson and maroon
to understand my insane fate, blues run in my fevered brain, i close my eyes so i can see straight
illusion wrapped in lies colored in greys
clocks never run backwards only forward in an endless parade
things left behind stay locked away, minds that move slowly get no play
they are only beginning the race, the finish line is gone it left no trace
everything goes that way only to begin another day



carrie ann kawa 8/03






i know nothing to do with salt sorry i just wanted to give you different flavores of me strange poems just to make life intersting soon the salt saga will be over and i wanted timothy jacob to set the mood for him and anaka which you have not met or have you someone whom i have givin some poetry to has a poem title the lady and the waiting man that is part of their epic but most likely this person never read it but that is for the future salt has to play his part which he will next week

remember life is to short spending it in your bedroom and looking at the walls and wondering how did i get here wait thats me never mind
life is to short to have a crush on someone no thats me too
ok once a day make fun of your self ok i think we can mange that

for maria listen when you jump into the fire you wil always get burned but the heat was worth the thired degree and if that does not make sence i took medication for my sinus and i m just going off so try to understand it in a crazy way

until next week keep well ttfn carrie out

TIMOTHY JACOB

ON a horse of ivory, with fire red eyes

snorts the dust of the dead, the unforgiven

long black coat,tattered by the wind, golden skin

white hair bleached by the sun

blood red shirt,jeans aged as if old was new

tarnished silver spurs on his boots made of snakes

venomousness in nature, kinship for the wearer

they still hold the dust of the western civilization

his weapon of choice------sin

discarded outlaw of the past traveling the new age as if it were a disease

in the day when justice was king and everything else fell to its knees, time has forgotten him

a mere ghost galloping out of existence, fading

he does not understand modern

plastic society with its glamour put on for show

sun setting on a world left behind by god

mankind sits on a throne of a graveyard

a loner riding into the blackness that is the future

he sits there on top of the world

that has forsaken justice and everything between

and knowsthat you cannot save nothing for nothing

Carrie Ann Kawa 4/2001

THE SUN ONLY SHINES SO FAR

HE HAD THE COURAGE I LACKED

HE WALKED TO THE PLACE OF THE SHINING STAR ONLY TO GO SO FAR

AS TO LOOK BACK AT HIS LOVE

TO KNOW HIS DESTINY IS TO LEAVE BEHIND THE HOME HE KNOWS

IT WOULD BE MY SWEETEST SORROW

TO JOURNEY TO PLACES

THE SUN DOES NOT EVEN KNOW

FRAGMENTS OF MEMORIES MERGING BECOMING TANGIBLE

HE KNEW IT ALL

HE HAD HIS TRUTH

TRANSFORMATION AND PROPHECY

THE LOVE HE CREATED WAS REAL

WHAT HE WAS AND WILL BE

ARE MORE THEN THE SUMS OF ALL WE KNOW

HE LOOKED UP TOWARD THE SUN

AND KNEW HE HAD TO GO REASON AND REALITY

FICTION TO FANTASY TRUTH OF THE SPIRIT

MANY THE OF PAST HE KNEW IT ALL HE KNEW IT ALL

CARRIE ANN KAWA 5/2004