well well well

i find my self in a strange place of late which dear reader of this blog should be nothing unusual , yesterday was mothers day and well i cried then i went to my faithful friend the radio when i want random i just turn the dial and let the wave of whatever hit me and it started with the wallflowers  " one headlight " forget about it tears would not stop rolling and then tiny dancer and it was all emotion , then songs that remind me of him " the crush " you infect me  i really thought if i don't see him then it would be over  noooooooo, why should it be this is me why cant i be detached most people are so back and forth my momsie songs and wonder wall , i just love torture , that being said , i plan to just study  study study study , and forget men exists because i have no luck with them what so ever  i am ever so the troll under the bridge a cute , smart , troll but one non the less  , now if i was not choosy this would not be the problem i just want someone that dose not want me , his lost that is what i will tell my self forever ,,  now on to bright stuff   life is good and complicated at the same time i am at the bus stop at 2;50 am ad does not care what time it is and i notice a no trespass sign at the bus stop this felt strange to me are we not all trespasser at the bus stop does any one know who getting on or going off , in point no one belongs there it temporary , as in life we go on to the next we never stay behind to find out what happens there , so in essence when we walk , go the park hike a trail we are trespassing on life because it is only temporary we are only meant to see a fraction of that life before we go on but what if we were to stay what then what would we see , watching life with out being a part of it now i know your going to think out loud and say don't people do that on an everyday basis  yes but they chose not to exists i am talking about watching , very different how people interact with each other how they play their emotional games , what are they thinking , as a writer that's what i do i trespass on humanity, watching them trying to understand them  writing their stories down with out them knowing , it makes you wonder who watches me?