caught in the moment

Got caught in a moment

Rain starts to fall

I am here with you, through it all

I am still, eyes close, and this moment is forever

Dreams vivid, like colors on acid trips of wonder and falling in to pools of mysteries

Finding the moment still, no nothing of time, lost in a daze of wonderment

I am so lost, not sure why. It seems when I took your hand…. I lost

That part of me that knows …..

Standing on the edge, I have been here before looking over that abyss

As always the abyss is dark, and lonely like a night gone wrong

You let go of my hand, I did not fall I was suspended into a world of riddles

Clocks that are backwards, and moments that are frozen, logical thinking was not allowed, fantasy forbidden

Confusion everlasting

I have no name here, forgotten in the sands

I was someone’s daughter, mother, love, goddess, friend, and enemy

Who am I now?

That face in the crowed that is forgettable

That no one sees, that blends in to the background of a forgettable society

That bares witness to a world that is falling apart

The stars seem so quiet they are keeping secrets

The moon shines so bright in such a cold, and yet

Words fall into this abyss; I lack the structure of understanding

You ran away from me so fast

There was no way I could catch up

I breath, I tried to scream but you left

They all go that way ….. Running, running, running

I am standing in that moment frozen.

Carrie Ann Kawa

12/14/2011

Inspired by those who have left me with questions

Thanks 

picture Jamas Nubile Sarajevo , Bosnia 1996

http://youtu.be/JMWYCnCIVMU

Thinking OF HIM

What  am i suppose to say , how am i suppose to feel , hurt , such pain but not all for me for him also in a strange way i believe he has to pay in life and that to reach a different type of happiness he was not allowed . now that is a type of rational  on my part as to say i have no part in his decision , but in truth i did not he blocked me from his life so fast i had no say and of  course what he would  be is that is just the way it is . all i wanted to know was his intention , i think i was entitled to this . he never gave me a chance to tell him I love him still do cannot turn off an emotion , unless he can . in which i do not know what to say to that at all . I miss him , our first kiss still was electric . he should talk to me  i had a dream about him oh what a dream ... thats all  CAK

listen to the words if you happen to come here -cak

goddess in pain

The Goddess in pain

Tears that are silent in the rain

He sailed his shipped looking for her, his eternity he saw the way the wind captured her , how it took her essence to him

He wanted her, knew her like no other

She saw him: looked into those ocean blue eyes and fell for him handed her heart over to him.

In which he vowed his words of love

She would have loved him forever.

Her body was his, her mind she shared and her soul he could journey through

He claimed her angel, and that he held his breath

He was on his knees pleading that he could not share her with another, pleading his love to her

Their kiss was electric, sparks of fire , the taste of sweet nectar.

In dizzy colors of love

His hands enclosed on hers , the skulls on his wrist watching her

Her feelings for him was intense left her sometimes jealous and insecure and wanting him always

Her patience was true, and her feelings she wore like her nakedness

He misunderstood her words and shaped a knife out of her verbs, stabbed her heart he fell silent and walked away

She tried to tell to tell him, he would not listen.

Her heart grew cold and her eyes turned to fire

The knife is still there, such a pain

She sits on the hill overlooking the water for him to hear her as she sings softly

Other have tried to tell her let it go

He sits there on his vessel like she does not exist , he told himself he could let her go , he did not have to watch her fall turned away from her tears

How could she understand that their time was short, and that he sold his soul to the sea

The sea was stronger than he could ever be ..

He looked out at the sea and sees phantoms’ of her

Ignores his wants, his desires gives into his demented madness

This is his duty, his life

It was easy to go, to walk away

She sits on that hill, looking over the water ---in waiting

The rain and wind starts , drenching her

Her hair turning to ice, the same hair he so wanted to touch

She grew distant more to herself

Heart so broken

11/30/2011

Viking

Carrie ann kawa  

  

THE GODDESS IN WAITING

Yes they have come pay homage
with token words of affection and promise of love
i look upon them with affection , and admiration of such a kindness

you took my breath away , you have left me bewildered and wanting more
my flowing gown that catches the wind
smiling in my way
you have me
i crave your attention , when i look into your eyes i see such love
never have i felt so safe , as our hands touch electric ,
rain starts and i am in your arms the rest of the world faded away , nothing existed

i have waited for such a challenge too my heart
i have so much that you are willing to take , i found that answer in your kiss
you sitting there reading my expression for the eternity that you have waited for me , until i noticed lost in my self not to see you
until those eyes came into my view , i wanted to get lost ,
your confession of love was overpowering
i felt loved for the first time never realizing what that emotion was .... from another
you have transcended me to such a place I'm not sure how to tread
i understood the language of my soul , and now it has changed to something more complex and yet so simple that it looks like such a beautiful moon full of it own light shed by many suns

carrie ann kawa 8/12/2011 viking