the wishing well

hello readers of this blog , hello i know i have just been posting poem after poem . i have not had a conversation with you . how have you been ? what has been going on in your life ? the most intriguing part of having this venue is that i have control , if you respond , i do not know . it is most interesting when someone tries to open your brain up and plays inside . it is very stimulating , but this is for another place .
what i really want to talk about is wishing wells , i have not thrown pennies in i have thrown dimes, a wish for those i care about  , is it silly perhaps , did i still do it yes . it is who i am to wish for others , so i can lead them to happiness .i found out i can lead a horse to water but i cannot  make it drink . well that is my grey , tasty matter just felt like venting , it is nice to know that the people in my life( care ,) those who have left , i will give you a dime so you can throw it in your wishing well and your dreams can come true . toss it

cak 12/11/2010

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teeth and stars

TEETH AND STARS


The clown stalks his prey, laughing like a lunatic

The distant light of humiliation sounds of agony

Slice through the patterns of lunacy

I am forever he whispers

To the very he that he is

To say it, is to become it .the sisters of the night, gather

For the dance of destruction

He sits alone, the fear crippling him to overshadow him.

His eyes open, the crimson, to touch, to feel, to see

Does he know the secret that are kept silent except on the winged vigilant and his mass sorrow

The circus lullaby plays reminding the senseless that the tiger is coming

Close your eyes and see, that he is not what he was he is more, but becoming less

He knows nothing

Fading away into the night, his breath takes on images that no one can possible understand

His reflection is unfamiliar

Strange becoming stranger

Fading until gone

Confetti with no sense of purpose

Except to be discarded

Carrie Ann kawa 10/2002

thought it was apt

run cherry silver

RUN CHERRY SILVER


She walks down the street, like the world owes her something

Never content to just be

Turning the corner, she finds a problem in every sky

An emotional roller coaster ride is a tribute to the crisis she is in.

Snapping that gum, tight jeans with a wayward smile

Angry, chasing a taste of fire

Tattooed with doubts, and self loathing

Running away only to hit a brick wall

The demons of a childhood nightmare

Play upon her as if she was an instrument for their abusive song

Coffee and cigarettes’ are her motto- second nature as breathing

She will never know how special she is

She is the dog that gets kicked and goes back to lick your master

When will you stop running, face the demons and end the war

Worn out is how she feels

Beautiful and complicated

Angry and sad

Tortured by her own gift of sight

She feels like nothing and gives you back the same

Carrie Ann kawa 8 /2000

the blue angel

THE BLUE ANGEL


(Spoken by timothy)

She sang to me, sleeping in despair

Her stained glass silhouette on the lighted moon

My touch of sadness and her starlight light seemed to play those of a different color beat

Her soul wings caressed my bitterness

It renewed me

She took me to a church, old never new, it was in ruined

It was not a conventional religion that lived here, not man made fear of god, devil divine, soulless society pathway

This was different, a sad lullaby

Played the dogma with symbols of something that perplexes my mind

She undressed herself, stood naked there was no secret here, only truth

I fell to my knees, in complete awe of her, she went to me.

She stood back up, I was her equal to her she made me understand that

We kissed and there was nothing that existed but her

Time was an illusion, forever was a concept, now was real

We danced until the song was over and it never

Ended

Carrie Ann kawa 11/2002

who i am

WHO I AM


Cosmic flood, this who I am,

Thoughts start to form and I know who I am

My words go on different transformation of my thought patterns

You have to be the one that kisses the tears; you have to be the one that lets me be who I am really is

Storms gather in my eyes and the wind starts

You are my temptation,

You want to lose yourself in my kiss, I will let you, but you have to come back to me

I will sing my song only for you, only for you

I want you to know me; I will tear myself apart for you to see

And in the micro cosmoses of my mind, I will tear you apart and transform you into what you have always wanted, what you always need to be, but so scared to let it show

I will deliver wings onto you and make you fly

Taste my lips, sweet, only for you, only for you

The rhythm in your body, matching mine, but different in its own making

I am poison for other; they want to control and bring me to a level of common place

This is not who I am, I am forever, I am always

You come to me on bended knees

Carrie Ann kawa 11/16/2010

Inspired by what is between us

Royland

cherry silver confession

CHERRY SILVER CONFESSION


I do not know who I am

Journeys become quest

I sit here in the dark rock myself back to reality

I blame my heart for beating

The rhythm of the truth of my soul trying to come out

My dreams are of demons and cherry pits

Vision of others death and I find where buried

I do not know myself enough to understand

I am screaming for someone to tell me

I am real I am something

When I feel like nothing a speak of dust

That’s floats on the wind

When I am here I am not there and the other way works

The confession that my minds conjures up is devastating

I am not sure what is real and what is chasing me

I am afraid of the light to see me

The refection is disturbed and not quite right

I see what I want even when I don’t want too

Pray to the fates and welcome the evil on my knees confession to myself

Carrie Ann kawa 3/2007

Dark City Soundtrack 01 - Sway