what is gonna on

cak

well  i wii be on spring break from school  , i need the break  more then any one realizes
what will i be doing , working on some of my writing  i feel my words have gone away from me and towards some one else which is ok but, i need to find my place with my pen and paper , and the world of words and subtext of meaning they all cannot be about  how i feel towards one , it must be about the many  not to say the others will stop i will just have to write more , and more and more 

im not even sure who reads this any way -------------- it really does not matter 
i will post an older poem on thursday lets make it a dark one  because you can only have the light if there is darkness  

goodnight ww  i will keep smiling for you : }  

silent he is

well  , lets see what has been going on with me , wonderwall has not said one word too me yeah  . and my allergy have been acting up yeah and im working in softlines tommorow  ( why )  but all i all my grades are excellant  i will be going on to get my ba  , so that you know that yeah is sacastic --no hi ---no nothing , this is the only place i can vent because no one knows who wonderwall is even wonderwall knows ---


so a little musing 
 what do i achive if i lose everything i love
what happens when i get everything  i want but..........
life is full of surprizes around every corner
when i least expect it  , i will know
im on a lot of allergy meds i have no clue if anyof this makes sense
what do i really want , i want some one that will love me for all my faults and achivement ,  that understands me as an artist , that its not black or white but many shades of grey , someone that knows what true pain is and can understand me from that point of view ,

goodnight   ww   have a great weekend 

when i walk

the lights of the city cast shadows on the way
it plays games  with images thrown out there for us to see
the demi gods of this world preach  to such sinners and they flock undone by what they have been a part of
i stand still for a mere moment there is no sound ......it just quiet   almost like for a brief moment it was lost
i like the walk , the darkness brings out all .... no light to blind you from what is really out there
the complex humanity of who we are
the changes of transforming into something
and still i walk , the ground is slate grey concret , with maroon stains of distain
charcaol color streets , and the neon lights of another
i walk down 11th to see the place i grew up , or the many that shaped my very being
everything changes and yet the tree is still there
phamtoms images of a family lost in away
and i know no other home

carrie ann kawa  3/22 2010

i wrote this one write now it is inspired by mike little journys and mine 
too soon to be complacent with my feelings , too soon to sew the wound up
because it will nevver heal right

what we say

i wanted to tell you something
all that ever comes out is the banality of the day
you are never bad luck it was just a turn of a phrase
a way to say hi , a way  for you to see
sometimes words are never enough silence speaks louder then anyting i could say

the mystery

( i know another dd cover but what can i say )

fade into the afterglow my moring sun
shift into the night, and see my face in the cover of dark that i tread in
winter rain of past comes to meet me in my travels
i know no other who would walk with me
placed at my feet are wild flowers
he watches me from afar, as if i was water and to distrub my thoughts i would ripple and fade
i catch his glance and want to return the gaze, but always he turns away
ink stains my finger, words stain my brain
i came from........... into something different
kiss to flesh, trade in taste of water, i have come this far
scars that are transcendental adorn my body
each has , unlike those of who have no understanding of where i am from
i cannot translate in words of what i have seen, only that my eyes can never be blind
my soul can never be naive , i am of me and not
i fell for the first time you said hello to me as i saw something of a different flavor of nothing i have experience before
i have transcending ; and we may not speak at all, just to look in your eyes to see all the colors of your soul
i can no longer see the ground, i can only look up
placed on the world of another
to see beyond my understaning
i have wished and wonder what i am
redemption of a certain kind
my eyes have the color of a storm on the hotizon to which no one has ever seen
i may speak, but i am still a mystery too you

carrie ann kawa   3/09/2010

i have no name

i am standing here wating for the sun to rise
the cold from the night has crypt into my very self and left behind the harsh truth of shadowes that follow me , all is the nothing that i know
what i am , i have question
he watches me from afar, deep in his blues and thoughts, i am aware of him
in my minds eye a fantasy approaches me
he walks towards me and covers my eyes
 i fall to my knees this is not a submission
this is what it is not ; he will never get that close
he sees me for what i am unapproachable
a distant unforgiving person
in his voyeuristic view, are eyes meet
this is not the romantic notion of sentimentality; this is cold , as he knows the purpose of one another
only the night covers his intention
he takes me by surprise as he is next to me
his hand touches mine, a brish of fate he whisper words to me that only i can comprehend
i put my hands up to touch his face
he opens his palm and touches my forhead his fingers play lighly with my hair
he kisses me deeply and with a passion
when i am near him i feel naked as if my soul was exposed
when he says my name, i fall into the bliss only he can repeat such a common and make it sound so beautiful
for so long i havehad no name
when the sky growes dark and the moon plays her end song i think of him and the distant that he keeps
this makes me want him all the more 


carrie ann kawa     7/06